Starting with an apology. Sort of. Yes, I know that I'm three weeks late on this one. But, hey, I was out of the country. I seriously contemplated going to see it in Denmark, because how cool would that be. Fortunately, I didn't waste my vacation time on this.
Short version: The effects were spectacular. Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard were both really good. The direction and cinematography were both good. But the script was a godawful mess. And that reduced what could have been a really good movie down to something I wouldn't mind having on in the background while I work.